This weeks results and the WHY behind my journey

Another week passed, another pound lost.  I am now officially one pound away from not being the obese category for my BMI which will be a very happy day!  And only four pounds away from being below 200!  12 pounds total lost since my weigh in at my drs office on October 10th. I'm averaging about 2 lbs of weight loss as week thanks to that awesome jump start.  My goal is simply to keep losing steadily.  I'm still watching what I eat very closely.  And to be honest, I don't miss the "bad" foods that much!  I drink low fat chocolate milk and hot chocolate to keep my chocolate cravings away.  Almonds supply my crunch when I need one. 

The main thing I want to write about tonight though is the WHY.  Why did I decide to do this right now in my life?  Why did I decide to radically change everything about myself?  The answer isn't because I hated how I looked (I just avoided mirrors).  Its not even because I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore (even though I couldn't).  Or because I couldn't keep up with my kids and was tired all the time (true statements, but not the reason).  I've had those reasons for years.  What made me change now?

I had a wake up call.  On Sept 30th, I sat by my grandpa's side as he slipped from this world into the next.  He died from complications of diabetes, congestive heart failure and high blood pressure.  He was old.  He had lived a good life.  But the last 10 years of it, he was miserable. He had lost all feeling in his legs and could barely walk.  He wasn't without a cane or walker for 10 years.  He had a heart attack and open heart surgery.  He had sores that would never heal and they almost had to amputate his feet.  Whenever you asked him how he was doing he would always answer "Its hell gettin old." I watched him literally waste away because he didn't take care of himself when he was younger - he was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes when he was about 65.  And watching him change from the strong man who was my hero into a man limping along in a walker who still was my hero was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. 

Tonight I received word that my cousin who is 4 or 5 years older than me just had 2 heart attacks and is in a coma.  She also didn't take care of herself throughout her life.  My other grandpa died when I was sixteen of a massive heart attack - he had diabetes and high blood pressure and somehow thought he was going to tough it out and he'd win the battle without changing his life.  He died before he was old enough to retire. 

So when I got the diagnosis of pre-diabetic and high cholesterol just before my 36th birthday, I got scared.  Plain and simple.  I was terrified.  I realized that I wanted to live to see my children grow up and get married and enjoy my grandkids.  I want to enjoy retirement with my husband.  There are too many things that I want to live for.  I decided that day when the doctor called that my life was changing and it was going to change drastically.  Life is too precious to waste it overeating and laying around watching tv.  I used to think that if I died fat and lazy at least I would die happy.  Now I realize that isn't true.  I would die miserable because I would miss so much! 

When we leave this life isn't up to us but I'm going to make darn sure that if I leave before I want to, it isn't because of something I did or something I refused to do.  I am lucky.  I found out what changes I need to make and I get the chance while I'm still young and before my body is too far gone to make these changes. 
Hope you all choose to make changes too -